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Choo-Choo Charles- An Indepth Review Of An Open World Horror

13K View2022-12-17

Hey there, and thanks for tapping on my review of Two Star Games, Choo-Choo Charles - An odd game initially conceived as a bit of a meme, and evolving to become- well . . . That's what I'm here to talk about.

Getting On Track

Essentially, Choo-Choo Charles puts you in the rules of 'The Archivist' - A monster hunter whose been tasked with visiting an island that's recently developed a bit of a problem. Namely, the horribly murderous spider train someone thought to cutely name Charles.

Unfortunately, things go a bit off the rails within a few minutes of arriving, because it's not long after your erstwhile comrade has finished rowing you to shore, and brought you up to speed that you find yourself attacked by this hellish engine of destruction.

Worse, he's not the only problem- because a masked militia has formed in order to enforce some semblance of order, albeit at gunpoint.

Now- bits of this likely sound a bit absurd . . . and that really is an accurate summary of things. While an Adequate portion of backstory is covered in your introductory boat ride- the rest is filled in through scattered lore notes, or the occasional quest, helping to fill in the blanks insofar as the islands history, and what's the deal with Charles.

It also just helps to hammer home that things are really silly, because while some of the remaining inhabitants are (relatively) normal, a whole bunch more are quirky, or simply walking punchlines.

No, The pickle cave isn't Innuendo. Though- it couldn't have been worse then 'The Slippery Eel' in a different game.

That said- these decision does go a long way towards undermining the horror elements the game could have been cultivating- leaning more into just weird, and sometimes tiring bits of meme-y humour.

Credit where due, though- the ending stringer actually makes for a good moment.

Full Steam Ahead

That said- I can't place the onus Charlies struggle to establish atmosphere wholly on the narrative. Mechanically, it's a bit odd, too.

The premise is simple enough- hop aboard a train engine, and drive about the island, running errands for the islands inhabitants to earn resources, new weapons, and to progress the main story quests so you can save the day.

Oh, and don't get murdered by Charles- given that he's not just content to let you do this in peace. He's literally stalking the island in real-time as a somewhat unscripted element that can drop in and ruin your day.

This, admittedly, makes the initial stretch of your journey a bit tense- since the train's barely able to fend him off- as it needs salvage to improve it's armor, speed, and attack power. That said- while you can get some token amounts of salvage by harming Charles when he appears- the bulk of it is found from the aforementioned inhabitants, locked chests, or even scrap riddled encampments and homes.

And therein lies the dilemma, since while some of these can be found alongside the track- the most impactful caches and quests will often lead you deep into the wilderness. Which makes it -absolutely- harrowing the first time you hear a distant train whistle, and realize that Charles is scuttling towards you.

Because sure, his form burst from the brume while you're on a train is surprising- but seeing him emerge from the tree line, swerving about wildly as he searches for, well, you.

Unfortunately, this doesn't remain tense- because, unless you have somewhere to take cover, or happen to be -right- beside your train? You're just dead. You can't outrun him. He outplaces your running speed by a substantial degree. And, don't get any funny ideas about diving into a river or lake. He can swim, too.

Your only option, really is to hide- and that's -if- you're close enough to shelter. And even then, it will likely take quite some time for him to leave, since if he catches even a glimpse of you, even from vast distances- he'll beeline straight towards you. He's -perversely- eagle-eyed.

Really, the main highlight here is his single-minded nature. Simply put, Charles will never soft lock your journey by murdering NPCS. Though, uh, it does get awkward when you emerge from a chat with a quest giver, and then get unavoidably trampled in the ensuing 3-4 seconds.

In fact, it was the relative unavoidability of my deaths scavenging that led me to becoming resigned to it- and actually rushing towards it in a few instances once I figured out how the system could be gamed. See, dying has a slight penalty of causing you to lose some scrap. And this can be painful early on. But, that amount stays small through the game- and in exchange, you're spawned at your train- so you can leave it in a convenient spot, and then venture off into the deep wilds- finish off quests, loot caches, and even hunt down collectible paint cans . . . before running face first into Charles or a Militia man to fast travel to the train and spend the rest of your ill-gotten gains.

That said, that wasn't actual the nail in the coffin insofar as the horror. Like, it helped- but what truly sealed the deal was the first optional quest I did- which unlocked the flamethrower.

Yes, there's other weapons- but in the end, they don't actually matter, because the flamethrower is broken- as it not only paralyzes and pushes back Charles, it also does continual dot damage even when you're not firing- allowing you to carefully balance roasting him, and allowing your weapon to cool down in order to do it again.

Really, the moment I found that out, I actually started to bully the thing when I got the opportunity- using the trains whistle in order to feel out if Charles was in the area, and luring him to my position.

And here's the thing. I got this -very- early in the game, which in tandem with my exploratory tendencies, meant I had maxed out my train before I was even 60% of the way through my journey. ...Leading me to an inventory loaded with enough junk that I may as well have been some sort of fucked up scrap dragon.

Really, the only threat left to me at that point- other than long hikes in the wood while Charles was around- was the main quest (And notably, not the final mission). And this is because 3 of the missions are rather particular- as they task you with diving into a series of mines controlled by the aforementioned murderous militia. Unarmed. Strictly relying on janky stealth.

Stealth which is awful because you can't crouch, but because there is no grace period. Either you're not seen, or they are immediately alerted. And in the latter case, there's almost no way to break line of sight, or even really outpace them on foot. They will chase you for just -minutes- on end, even weaving through complex cave networks- shooting at you the whole while. ...And you will have a while, because they couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with a shotgun. Which I can confirm as fact, since that's what they are in fact wielding. Generally- the only deaths at their hands will come if you turn into a dead end and get cornered- or decide to stop and wander in their direction to try and smooth things out with a hug.

That, or just waste enough time running around that you bait them over to your train and gun them all down. Which is, in fact, an incredibly viable solution for all save the last cave. Which you can just run through (unless you want a shiny coat of paint).

That said, the dumbest part in all of this, is that there are shotguns -everywhere-. On the walls of houses, in a shed, and strewn about the various men you've likely been forced to gun down- but despite this, you just can't pick one up.

Maybe that's why I preferred the sidequests. Yes, you can finish chunks of them without ever talking to the Npcs, missing out on dialogue- and yes, a vast portion of them are fetch quests . . . but there's some novel ideas in the mix, with one of my favourites being the boulder field.

Honestly, I think if I'd gone into this game with the expectation of a serious mindset, I would have been annoyed- but as it stands, once I settled into a more casual mindset, and brewed up a cup of tea- there was something relaxing about the experience. About watching the countryside whoosh by as you head towards your next objective. Does it feel a bit unnecessarily long at times? Sure- especially if you find yourself shunted onto the wrong track because an evil train prevented you from hitting the track switch. But- weirdly relaxing, all the same.

Also, a bit hilarious, once I realized that I could pop open the map and watch my train move in real time.

And not just my train- you can also see the Militia moving around if they're above ground, and even catch sight of Charles. That said, one of the things I liked the most about the map, is it let me discern details like abandoned buildings, or odd clearings- and even set waypoint markers so I could make my way towards them.

It was a lovely bit of convenience, and helped with the task of exploring it's world.

A new Paint Job

And I did do a fair bit of exploring- the world isn't actually that bad looking. Yes, the NPCS are a bit weird, given they don't move their lips when speaking voiced segments - and being locked in very tightly looped idle animations during conversations- but the environment itself was fine to saunter through, especially during those moments where you get caught out in some reign, or a bout of fog.

Also, it was sort of neat watching the trains appearance evolve as I upgraded it's defense, and having the option to swap it's paint job between a number of gaudy options.

That said, the center piece- Charles, is a bit more of a mixed bag. On one hand, he definitely fills the role of being a very creepy spider train. That sad, he interacts a bit...weirdly with the world itself. Like notably clipping through things you may be cowering behind as you pray for him to leave you alone.

Though, that wasn't a moment without it's merits, given- his theme music is pretty solid, as is the ominous noise of his whistle

Last Stop

But was it enough? Well, here's the thing- if you're looking for a -horror- game, you are likely going to find yourself disappointed -unless- you specifically dislike spiders. Whilst there -were- a couple good emergent scares along the way- like the moment he caught up to me in a junkyard and I only -just- barely found a source of shelter before he murdered me . . . the rest of the time, the experience felt fairly bland. A slew of unavoidable deaths jaded me to the consequences, the weird humour kept injecting itself into the situation, and when I finally got a proper showdown with Charles when I -wasn't- on foot . . . I proceeded to clown on him so hard, I may as well have invited a whole ass circus.

That's not to say I didn't have fun with this title, I did- but, this definitely falls into a much weirder niche where I'm unsure of who I would recommend this to, exactly- and why I'm ultimately rating it a FUMBLE. Maybe if you've been hankering for Thomas T. Train memes, and the opportunity to gun down a spider monster with a turret? ...Or maybe if you just want to take some long moonlit train rides around a haunted island, and don't mind the occasional interruption.

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